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Used Brooms

Kerrix looked up from his well-worn paperback copy of the Key of Solomon upon hearing the sound of the little bell hanging over the door. A woman with an aquiline nose and a wildly unkempt mass of auburn hair had strolled into the shop. Kerrix put his book down and forced a smile. “Hi! Welcome to Swept, your destination for pre-owned brooms. How can I help you today?”

“Hello! I called earlier about eco-friendly brooms?”

Kerrix vaguely recalled the phone call, during which he had assured the customer they had environmentally friendly options. He wondered if that was true. “Ah, yes, of course. You must be…”

“Jessebel.”

“Yes, of course, Jezebel.”

“No no, Jessebel, not Jezebel.”

“… Jezebel?”

“…Sure,” she said defeatedly with a smile that did not reach her bespectacled eyes.

Kerrix smiled back with equal insincerity. “Of course. I should have something in the back for you.” He walked into the back room, pausing a moment to take a deep breath. Grabbing something from off the wall, he put his smile back on and came back into the front of the building with an old splintered stick held together with duct tape that had two or three bristles attached at the end. “Here’s a lovely refurbished model.”

“Refurbished?”

“Yes, it was in an accident, but it was rebuilt and it runs better than ever!”

Jessebel looked suspicious. “And this is eco-friendly?”

Kerrix had completely forgotten she had asked for that. “Of course! It was rebuilt with a new… hybrid flight… generator that reduces the, um… carbon footprint.” That sounded plausible. “It’ll cost, uh…-,” Kerrix glanced at the broom and appraised it at about a hundred shillings, “- four thousand shillings.”

“That seems awfully much…”

“Tell you what, I like you,” he lied. “I’ll give it to you for twenty-five hundred.”

Jessebel brightened, paid Kerrix, and left with her new used broom. Kerrix sighed, sat down, and picked up his book.

Recommend0 Simily SnapsPublished in All Stories, Fantasy, Fiction, Flash Fiction, Humor

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