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The Wrasslin’ Chronicles, Vol. 1: The Art of the Squash Match

Gong, gong as that Undertaker’s 2nd theme would play his opponent would already be in the ring. Whether it was Bill Pierce, Chris Hahn or Mario Mancini, they were all about to take a ride to TOMBSTONEEEE CITYYYYY (In a Guerilla Monsoon font) courtesy of the “Pale destroyer.” Took you back with that one right there. Wikipedia used to have all of his old nicknames that he went by over the years. I guess they got rid of it. Well, back to the story.

It was always interesting to me seeing one of those matches. Those matches would be called Squash match. Oops, my bad in enhancement matches (In an Undertaker font) as they are now called. Not sure why the name change because I don’t see how calling something a squash is a bad thing. That was really what it was.

Now it wasn’t just “the man from the darkside” who engaged in these kind of matches. So did Razor Ramon played by the late, Scott Hall. Those guys made those matches look like artistic paintings. It was like Michaelangelo or Basqiat was creating masterpieces in their primes. I’m serious. Go back and watch a few of those matches from the mid nineties and up.

And the wrestlers would do moves that you very rarely would see them against upper tier wrestlers. I remember seeing Taker do dropkicks and side suplexes. Leap frogs and drop toe holds. Same thing with Ramon. His squash matches were beauty to behold. The way he toss those cats around. Especially when he would do that firemen’s carry that he called, “the flying sack of sh*t.”

Back then, they actually had certain wrestlers who they would either call up or maybe they were kept on the roster for that sole purpose to “do a job.” And they did it oh so well. The WWE still does sq — — oops “enhancement” matches now but they do it all wrong in my opinion.

These people be using wrestlers that have won intercontinental titles, tag team titles and even the world title as “jobbers.” They got it all messed up. The WWE should set aside a group of residential “jobbers” like they did back in the day for that sole purpose of making your future stars to look as good as possible.

Recommend0 Simily SnapsPublished in Culture and Current Events, Opinion Piece, Sports