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The Other Voice in My Head

This is the third time this week I have had this intense feeling of Deja Vu. I can’t figure out why this is happening so often. I experienced the feeling just now when I decided to give the cute barista at the coffee shop my number. The smile on his face, the way he said ‘nice, I’ll give you a call tonight.’ I remember it so vividly, but why? This has never happened to me this much before. I have been wanting to give him my number for weeks now, ever since he started working there. There was always a voice in my head that said I shouldn’t do it. I always listened to it because I was too scared and anxious about his response. I would never do something like that. Something in me today convinced me to get up the guts to do it. I still can’t figure out why giving him my number triggered such an intense feeling of familiarity. It’s so weird.

After leaving the coffee shop a sudden realization hit me about why I felt such intense recall. I dreamt about it. I had had a very vivid dream depicting every action that took place as I’d given the boy my number. I always have very vivid dreams during my narcoleptic episodes. Thinking back on the other instances of deja vu this week, I had dreamt of those as well. Every one happened after I missed a dose of my medication, the one to control my narcolepsy. I don’t normally have dreams like that either. It is such an odd coincidence that this has happened so much recently. Considering the stress I am going through in my new job it makes sense. My meds haven’t been working as well as they usually do. Even now I am feeling very drowsy and scared I will have another episode. It makes me wish I was still sitting in the coffee shop. Nothing I do will help to keep me awake, so it is a good thing that I am close to work and will be alone in my office soon.

Finally making it to my office, I plop into my desk chair and lean back, rubbing my eyes. I could feel my lids begin to droop and my head began to feel cloudy. The sensation makes me unable to focus on anything other than drifting off to sleep. As usual, I just sit back in my chair until my eyes shut and I begin to dream.

Sitting in a chair across from the cute coffee shop guy, a sudden rush of dread washed over me. I don’t know why I feel this way, but something about this guy is unsettling. He has a menacing smile on his face and his knees keep bumping against mine. He rises and pulls his chair out to place it next to me. I don’t want this. He needs to back away. I jump when he places his hand on my thigh and squeezes tightly. I squirm in my chair trying to get his grip to loosen. I can’t stop thinking about how I need to get away from him as soon as possible.

I jumped to my feet when I woke up clenching the edge of my desk to keep my balance. My heart is racing and my breathing labored. That was one of the most intense narcolepsy dreams I have ever had. I could feel sweat dripping down my forehead and my palms are damp. What was that all about? Given the way the week has been going I don’t know if I should ignore this dream or not. The coffee boy hasn’t even called me yet! This is crazy, it was just a dream. I need to calm down and get past this. I sit back down and begin counting backward from one hundred, trying to control my breathing. I couldn’t quiet the voice in the back of my mind. It keeps telling me not to ignore the dream, but I force myself to focus on my work ignoring what the voice is telling me.

The cute coffee shop barista, Sean, called me when I got home from work. He asked me to dinner tomorrow night at a fancy restaurant. While laying in bed trying to sleep, I keep hearing that voice in the back of my mind telling me not to go. Why wouldn’t I go, though? This is something I have been wanting for weeks.

Sean picked me up and took me to a fancy French restaurant. I felt a sense of familiarity when I walked through the doors. I had never been here before though, so why is it so familiar? I shrugged the feeling away and sat across from Sean at the table. His knee brushed against mine when he slid into his seat. The touch triggered the same recall as walking into the eatery. That feeling caused my anxiety to flare and the voice in my head to start warning me to leave. I took a deep breath, calming my nerves the best I could.

The date was going very well until I felt his knees bumping at mine again and his foot brushing against mine. When he stood and moved his chair next to me, I realized why I had felt deja vu when we arrived. I had that dream yesterday at work. I knew what was going to happen. I noticed his hand moving to my thigh and jumped from my seat, running into the bathroom. My hands are shaking as I grab my phone from my bag to call an Uber. I needed to get out of here and away from Sean.

I ran out of the restaurant, trying to keep Sean from spotting me. Safely in the Uber and on the way home I relax and listen to the voice in my head tell me ‘I told you so’. I can’t believe that another one of my dreams came true. I don’t understand what is happening. Maybe if I listened to the voice in my head more, I wouldn’t keep getting into these situations. I just want to go to bed and sleep. I want this night to be over. I should have trusted my instincts and not even given him my number. I feel so stupid.

Finally home, I go through my nightly routine quickly so that I can get into bed and get this all over with. I hate that I didn’t trust my inner voice. Finally in bed, I am alone and nothing is here to distract me from my thoughts.

“I wish I knew when these kinds of things were gonna happen so I could avoid it altogether,” I mumbled to myself while I drifted off to sleep.

“Then maybe you should start listening to me!” the voice in my head yelled back at me. I shot up in bed covered in a cold sweat, my hands gripping the sheets. My heart raced, sweat fell down my face. The voice in my head was answering me like it was another person.

“What is going on?” I whispered under my breath.

“You are realizing that I, the voice in your head, is actually speaking to you,” the voice responded.

“But… but how? Why? How is this possible? Am I going crazy?” My hands shot up and I began to rub my temples, trying to wrap my mind around what was going on.

“You won’t believe me, but I am you from the future. I know everything that is going to happen to you, and I have been trying not to let you make some massive mistakes again. Your dreams, for instance, I am responsible for those. I use them to try and warn you.” The voice calmly explained all this to me. It was right, I didn’t believe it. There is no way the voice in my head is me in the future. That’s impossible. There’s no way.

“I don’t believe you,” I state, waiting for a response feeling stupid for talking to myself like this.

“I knew you wouldn’t. Have I been wrong about what I have warned you against lately?” the voice questioned me.

“No, no you haven’t. Everything you warned me about turned out the way you said it would,” I had to admit this to myself. It was true. The voice warned me about every bad situation that I have gotten myself into. Especially that date with Sean.

“I told you, I am you from the future. I am trying to help you make your life better, for both of us. So how about you start listening to me!” The voice is right, as it usually is. Maybe I should start listening to it more.

“Fine, I’ll listen. To better our future,” I authoritatively stated laying myself back down to drift off to sleep.

Recommend0 Simily SnapsPublished in Fantasy, Fiction, Mystery/Thriller, Sci Fi