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Magic School America (New Episodes) Part 9

RAHBEEM

Look, you want me to be a guidance counselor for a supernatural sciences school, right? Why me? Yes, I have about ten years’ experience dealing with normal mortal children, but I don’t know nothing about ghostbusting or wizardry.



RAHBEEM

(Sighs)

I appreciate the job offer. But I think I’m out of my league here.


PROFESSOR DIAZ

Well, permit me to ask what might sound facetious, but if you didn’t want the job as a guidance counselor for a magic school, why did you apply for one?


RAHBEEM

Because my baby mama Jasmine keeps child support on my ass. And my ex-wife, keeps alimony AND child support on my ass.


RAHBEEM

(Shrugs)

The courts need to see I’m at least looking for a job or I might be doing prison time. So, I applied to any job I was qualified for. I didn’t think you would actually call.



PROFESSOR DIAZ

I see…



PROFESSOR DIAZ

(nods)

And when I called you for a job interview, you came because…?


Rahbeem uses his pinky to clean his ear.

RAHBEEM

I was hoping to catch a quidditch game.

PROFESSOR DIAZ

That’s not a real thing…


RAHBEEM

How the hell you got burnt at the stake and you tryna tell me what is and is not real? Your burnt steak ass is not real!

PROFESSOR DIAZ

You have a temper and you’re quick to anger! Will you attack and injure these children?


PROFESSOR DIAZ

(Rubs his chin in thought)

Would you expect extra pay for that?


RAHBEEM

(In a comedic African accent)

You are LITERALLY a DEVIL from HELL. What do you want from me?


PROFESSOR DIAZ

I want you to be a human. I need you to relate to these human children as only a human can.

RAHBEEM

Professor Diaz, I would love to help you there, but I can’t relate to anything anymore. Every time I turn on the TV, the news shows me a world that’s getting weirder and weirder at breakneck speed.

RAHBEEM

I can’t help you with nothing here, my dude! Nothing!

RAHBEEM

(Claps at every word)

Ya’ll-don’t-even-play-QUIDDITCH!


PROFESSOR DIAZ

There is no such thing!


Rahbeem stands up frustrated and goes over to Professor Diaz’s window.

He shakes his head as if saying no to the thoughts coming to mind.

RAHBEEM

So this stuff is serious now, man? You telling me I gotta learn magic and demonology? I haven’t even memorized all the gender pronouns yet!


PROFESSOR DIAZ

I know it’s a lot, Professor Roth. But the truth is the supernatural has been with you! We’ve been here the entire time. It’s just that humans are now being forced to accept this reality. You cannot avoid it any longer.

Professor Roth cringes and shakes his head at that. It’s too much, too fast. Diaz raises his hand, and a file sitting on top of a file cabinet magically flies into his palm.

PROFESSOR DIAZ

Be not selfish, Professor Roth. If you think this new world is difficult for you, imagine how it is for the children. Let’s talk about them, shall we?


He opens the file.

PROFESSOR DIAZ

Let’s start with Eddie Bon Moon. He, in particular, could use your help.

RAHBEEM ROTH

(Turns to face Diaz)

Eddie? That was one of the four boys, right? The students of Kaye Beltran?



PROFESSOR DIAZ

Yes! And this young man is incredibly bright. He’s tested at a genius level…

PROFESSOR DIAZ

Unfortunately, his sister was killed in a car accident over the summer, and he took the death very hard. He actually had to be hospitalized for about 3 months due to a suicide attempt.

Rahbeem looks saddened by hearing that.

Walks back to take his seat in front of Diaz’s desk.

RAHBEEM

Is he back in school yet?



PROFESSOR DIAZ

Yes…

PROFESSOR DIAZ

(Exhales hard)

But we are having…uh…disciplinary problems with him now. And we’re not sure what to make of it, Professor Roth.

Rahbeem hands Diaz another puzzled look as the fizzle into another flashback…

Recommend0 Simily SnapsPublished in Adventure, Contemporary Fiction, Culture and Current Events, Fantasy, Fiction, Happy Read, Humor, Paranormal, Satire, Sci Fi, Young Adult (YA)

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