I didn’t mean to hit my brother with that rock. I was just so angry. Why’d he have to go swimming without me? We’ve always done everything together, and now I was feeling abandoned.
I had often felt that way before. When I was six years old, my mother was killed, hit by a drunk driver. Dad decided he didn’t want the burden of two kids whom he hated. He took off and I have no idea where. The only one who actually keeps in touch with him is Gram.
“He’s still my son, and I’m still his mama,” she always says. Gram often makes up excuses like that to tell my brother and I. Her purpose in life now is to please us, and I can tell she always tries her hardest with that, especially after what happened with our parents.
Gram is the only real adult who I’ve ever been able to trust. But then she punished me because of the rock to my brother’s arm. Who cares anyways, he deserved it. Gram said I was allowed to go about the house, but that I couldn’t leave it or have any snacks for the rest of the day. I decided to go sit by myself in the backyard. Hey, I technically wasn’t leaving the house property.
I had always loved the backyard; it was quiet and spacious. I could always just come and relax when things got too crazy inside. But today I hated it. I hated everything and just wished the whole world would go away. As I was pondering on this, I noticed a little troop of ants. It looked like they were carrying small pieces of candy; probably from the secret stash I saved from birthday parties and Halloween.
For the moment I admired those ants; so tiny yet so strong, able to come and go as they pleased. They, at least, had a mom who was still there for them, and maybe even a dad too. They were always together, never abandoning one another. They were family.
So many times I had wished that my mother was still alive. Or that my dad cared for us. Or both. But I was so angry. Angry at my mom for getting hit and leaving us – she had loved us and we knew it. I was so angry at my dad; how could he leave us? why would he not want us? we’re his kids, why would he not care? I was angry at my brother for going swimming, and angry at Gram for punishing me.
As all my emotions bled out through my thoughts, I picked up a small rock and blotted out the lives of those ants forever.Recommend0 Simily SnapsPublished in