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A Weird Feeling – Carol 28

[Transcript is based around multiple sheets of paper found at the riverbank following the end of the iteration. Theorized to be dated shortly after the accident.]

Hi,

My name’s Carol, I just got home, and I have this weird feeling that isn’t going away.

When I say ‘weird feeling’, I mean like, you know how you get a knot in your chest when you get yelled at by a parent, or when you’ve done something really bad and you know that you have? It’s kind of like that, but instead of a knot in my chest, it’s a constant sinking feeling in my body, coupled with a constant heart beat in my ears.

I don’t know what could have caused it, but I’m keeping this log in case anything happens or comes up that I should remember. My memory’s not that great anyway.

I guess I’ll start with basics to help maybe narrow down what could be causing this. My name’s Carol, obviously, just said that, I’m 18, turning 19 in a couple of months, and I’m starting college in a few months as well actually. I’ve been looking forward to college and my birthday, so I doubt this feeling is anxiety about any of those, so I’ll keep going to try and remember more.

I live in a pretty nice suburban home, and I have a job currently at the local deli down the street. It’s nice working there, since I get raises every now and again, and the owner’s actually friends with my d

I don’t think I want to write anymore today. I’ll update this tomorrow if anything comes up. I don’t remember anything right now, maybe it’ll come back to me soon. I don’t know.

~~~

Hi again,

It’s been about 2 days since I last wrote here, but nothing’s really happened. I stayed inside for most of the day, but today something interesting happened. I got called down to the police station, since apparently there’s an ongoing investigation regarding an accident of some kind. I had no idea what they were talking about, so I mostly spaced out during their talk, and answered their questions as best I could.

I also had some fun dreams in the past 2 days, where I was hanging out with all of my friends, playing games outside like when we were kids, and having a great time doing it. We even went to the local park and played on the playground, and no one seemed to mind us doing it, so we kept playing games until we all got tired. After that, we relaxed on the swings, and talked about all of the things we wanted to do next.

Finally, after all of the fun we had, we all went to go get something to eat, and I had the most delicious pizza of my entire life. I can’t even describe how it tasted, but it made me feel really happy, like it was made of pure serotonin.

It kind of sucked having to wake up from the dream, but if I had the same dreams twice in a row, I think I might be able to do it again tonight! I was going to try it tonight once I’m done writing here. It’s really early for me, but it’s not like I have anything to do, and there’s no one who can stop me anyway so why not right?

There’s

There’s no one to stop me.

I’m going to bed now. I want to be happy with everyone again. I’ll write here if anything else fun happens in the dream.

~~~

Hi again,

Today wasn’t a fun day. It started off great, with another fun dream, where my friends and I played tag in the park, and never got tired regardless of how fast we ran, and ended with us having steak for dinner, but before I could eat mine, I was woken up by a knock at the door. That’s when the day went bad.

The police were the ones knocking, and they immediately started searching my house, and even ended up taking these notes away from me. I don’t know what they were doing, all they said was that they wanted to check and see if I was involved with this ‘accident’ they keep talking about.

I didn’t bother to ask them about it, because frankly I didn’t care, I just wanted them to leave me alone and let me go back to being how I was. Thankfully they did after a few hours of searching and asking random questions. I wasn’t paying attention because my mind kept drifting back to how delicious that steak must have been. They left about 10 minutes ago, and I’m writing here now after checking to see if they did anything to the other pages. Thankfully, the only thing they did was circle the first page I wrote about that ‘weird feeling’.

Speaking of that weird feeling, it hasn’t actually gone away yet. I still don’t know what it might be, but whenever I go to sleep it always seems to go away, so I doubt it’s anything serious. Anyway, I was just updating this and writing before I go back to sleep. I want to taste that steak, and I don’t care if it’s the middle of the day.

Hopefully the police don’t come back. I don’t want them ruining my days.

~~~

Hey there,

Today was a really fun day! I went to get Chinese food with my friends, and we hung out all day and talked about cool ideas for games to play, and stuff to do together. We even took a walk around the city, and it was nicely quiet all around, barely any cars, no traffic, no clusters of people, and no construction going on!

We all had a great time, and even played hide and seek tag throughout the whole city! I lost pretty quickly, since I’m not very creative with hiding spots, but it was still fun hearing everyone walk around looking for me, while I hid up in the rafters of one of the buildings. The only reason I got caught so early besides the fact that I’m uncreative was the fact that there was so much dust up there that it made me sneeze!

We all got home about an hour or two ago, and after I went to sleep, I woke up here, in what I think is some kind of lucid nightmare. I’m writing this here because if this is lucid dreaming I want to be able to remember everything the next time I have another nightmare. So far, after I work up into this nightmare, it’s just been a completely different feeling to when I’m actually awake; It’s gloomy, dark, and I feel terrible whenever I move. I’m in this dark and empty house with no one else in it, but there are multiple rooms that seem like they belong to other people.

I wanted to go outside to see what it was like out there, but when I got to the front door, there was a pile of mail sitting right at the door. I went through a lot of the messages, but one of them caught my attention more than the others. It was a letter telling me that I was due to come into court as a witness for some “accident”, which I didn’t understand at all, so I stayed away from the exit, since I didn’t want to open it up and see the people trying to take me to court.

I’m going to keep looking around, and see if I can find a way to wake myself up from this nightmare. I’ve heard that people have never seen electronics in their dreams, so maybe if I check my phone or watch the TV it’ll force me awake. I’ll go check now.

~~~

I think I found a way to wake myself up from this nightmare.

I really want to leave this nightmare, it’s starting to scare me. I tried to look at my phone to wake myself up, but all I kept seeing were messages from people asking if I was ok and if I needed help after the “accident”. I don’t know what accident they’re talking about, but it keeps bringing on this weird feeling whenever I see it brought up.

My idea of waking myself up though is simple. I’m currently walking outside, trying to avoid anyone, since I don’t want to hear anything about this “accident”, and making my way towards what I think is a bridge in the distance. I’ve had multiple dreams in the past where I felt myself falling down something, and waking up right before I hit the ground, so I’m thinking that maybe I can do the same here to escape this hell.

~~~

I’m at the bridge now, and I noticed something weird, that brought back that weird feeling in my chest. There’s a part of the bridge that’s broken, like the handrail on the side is completely broken, and there’s construction workers over there trying to fix it. I wonder what could’ve happened there.

It doesn’t matter actually, it’s just a nightmare after all. All I have to do is jump from here and I’ll wake up in no time.

I don’t know why, but standing over this ledge, looking down into the water, I can’t help but think about what I assume is my family. My mom and dad, down there waiting for me. I wonder why I feel like this.

I guess I can think about it later though, once I wake up. All I need to do now is jump for it. I’m thinking that we could all have sushi tonight for dinner. That sounds nice.

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