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I Finally Have Someone – Carol 17

[September 23, 2XXX]

Dear Diary,

I finally have someone! It’s been a long time coming, almost four whole years since I got you, but I finally got myself a partner! I can barely even sit down and write this properly because I’m so excited. Let me tell you about him real quick so I can calm down.

His name is [Unnecessary Details], I met him on campus a couple of weeks ago, while I was working on my essay, and he was wearing a HOD shirt, so I called out to him to compliment him on it, and next thing I know he’s sitting down with me and we’re talking about the show and all of the details in it. It was an unreal feeling, being able to just talk to someone so easily, and to have them be interested in the same things as me was just a godsend. He’s got these dreamy blue eyes that can catch anyone’s attention, perfect, swooped to the side, orange hair, and a nice loose hanging long sleeved shirt. My god I can’t believe that he’s real, he’s got almost everything I find attractive down, and we hit it off so well!

He gave me his number, and I’ve been wondering whether or not I should actually text him or wait for him to do it first. I’ve heard that making the first move is breaking the status quo, but honestly my heart is beating out of my chest and I can hardly wait for him to text! What will I say if I text first though? Should I ask him on a date, if so, where to? It’s not like there’s a lot of interesting places around here. Maybe just a date to a pizza place or something would be a good start. Should I just wait for him to text? Maybe he’s got an idea for a date already, maybe he’s planning it out now before he texts me. God, I can’t think straight, I’m too excited!

I’ll write back to you after he texts, or I text, or whatever happens! Hopefully everything goes smoothly!

– Carol

[September 24, 2XXX]

Dear Dear Diary,

Sorry for writing to you so late! Last night he texted me first, and we spent all night texting. We talked about HOD some more, what our hobbies are, what our families are like, all of that fun stuff. Then, he asked me on a date! I knew it was smart to wait, he said he wanted to take me out to dinner, like a fancy man. Obviously I said yes, and now I have to figure out what I’m going to wear, since I’m going out with him in like, a few hours. Should I wear something fancy, or casual? Should I ask him what he’s gonna wear? I’ve never done this before, so my brain’s going all mushy when it comes to thinking.

I stayed up way too late last night. Even after I finished texting with him, I just kept looking back at everything we said and kept on getting all giddy. I almost missed my first class because of it, but honestly I couldn’t give a damn about it anyway, I’ve been high off of this guy since yesterday!

Maybe I should just wear my flannel, I think it fits me best, and I think it looks attractive on me(??) Ah fuck it, why not, old reliable, flannel and jeans. Hopefully I don’t look like an idiot in front of him all dressed up and nice looking. God I can only imagine what he looks like in a suit.

On an unrelated topic, I’ve been struggling a bit with my essay. The topic is way too specific and out there, and I don’t really have the motivation to try and write the paragraphs, or even to read the sources, especially with you know who on my mind. I might ask some classmates if they can help me out, or maybe I could ask him to help me with it after dinner. Hohoho, study session with him after dinner doesn’t sound bad at all, Carol you mad genius.

Oh, shit he just texted me again, I’ll write to you again later! Hopefully my heart doesn’t explode before dinner!

– Carol

[October 27th, 2XXX]

Dear Diary,

So sorry for writing to you so late again, I got caught up in school work and hangouts, and especially you know who. Him and I have been going steady for over a month now! In fact, our one month anniversary was a couple days ago. We’ve been hanging out and texting almost every day, and he’s been helping me with all of my homework, since I don’t have a lot of time to do a lot of it anymore, which I’m not complaining about!

My essay has been going a lot better because of him, since he seemed to be a lot more knowledgeable on the topic than me, since he’s a little smarty pants, so he’s been coming over and helping me write it every week the day before we have our weekly progress updates. Call it risky, but I call it calculated, because it means we can spend more time doing our own thing in the meantime. He doesn’t have a super large friend group, and he doesn’t belong to any cliques, so he has time to hang out with me almost every day, unless he has a shit ton of homework or an exam to study for. I always suggest a double study session, but he always declines when he really needs to study, since our “studying” always seems to get a bit off track.

I wanted to write to you today because I wanted to think of more date ideas for us, since he’s been the one suggesting the bulk of them since we started dating. I was thinking maybe revisiting that pizza place idea I had before, or maybe a day trip down to the shore or something. I thought maybe of doing something Halloween related, but it’s probably too late for costumes, and I don’t really feel like going to a party with strangers, even if he’s with me. Maybe we can just have a Halloween picnic at the park, with candy corn and other spooky stuff like that, I dunno, hopefully I’ll figure something out! He’s coming over soon for some more essay work, hopefully it helps save my grade in the class!

– Carol

[November 28th, 2XXX]

Him and I had our first argument today.

Today’s Thanksgiving, and I was asking him what he was doing for today, since I wanted to be together and maybe make some dinner together, but he said that he always spends Thanksgiving with his family upstate. I was understanding of that, and I wanted to go with him, since I’m essentially part of his family now, but then he told me that he hasn’t told his parents about me yet. That’s what started the whole argument.

I don’t get why he hasn’t told them yet. I would’ve told my parents by now about him. Hell, I would’ve told them the day after I met him, so why doesn’t he want them to know? I kept on asking him why, I asked him if I was good enough for him, and if he thought of me as someone he could marry and have kids with, and he snapped at me. He said that it was “complicated”, and that he doesn’t want to talk about it. I told him to tell his parents about me today, and he seemed like he didn’t want to, but accepted doing it after I reminded him that his family is the closest thing I’ll ever get to a family anymore.

That was the last conversation we had today. It’s been a few hours, and I’ve tried texting him, but he hasn’t responded. I keep telling myself that it’s because he’s at his parents’, but I’m also here thinking that what if that’s a lie? What if he doesn’t go to his parents’ every Thanksgiving, and he’s just using it as an excuse to get away from me. He wouldn’t do that, right? He loves me, so he wouldn’t want to be away from me. I know that because I don’t want to be away from him.

Maybe I should call him, and tell him to show me his parents so I can get confirmation that he’s with them, and not lying to me. If I can do that, I’ll be happy, knowing that he doesn’t hate me, and doesn’t want to leave me. I need him, and I know he needs me.

Speaking of needing him, one of the reasons I got angry at him was because tomorrow is another essay progress update, and I have no idea what I’m doing without his help. Hopefully he gets out of his parents’ soon, so he can come over and help me with this. My grades have been terrible, and I’ve been trying my best to get my work done with him so that I don’t fail. I don’t want to waste more money on classes that I’ve already taken.

I’m gonna call him, I can’t stand the thought of him lying to me. I’ll let you know how it goes.

– Carol

[December 24th, 2XXX]

Dear Diary,

Merry Christmas Eve! Things have been going great! Winter break is here and that means I can spend time with you know who every day. I asked him today if I was going to come up with him to his parents’ for Christmas, and after some talking, he said yes! I’m finally gonna be able to meet his wonderful parents, and spend the holidays with him!

We’ve had an argument here and there, mainly about him spending time outside of school doing things without telling me where he is, but making mistakes and learning from them is part of a relationship, so I don’t see a problem with it! He has been a bit more quiet when it comes to any problems he’s been having, and I’ve been worrying a little that it’s something to do with me, but I don’t want to ask him and make him upset or anything, so I just keep to myself. Oh, also, for Christmas, I got him the most adorable gift for tomorrow, and I’m excited to see what he got me! I told him to just surprise me for a gift, so I’m hoping he got me something awe inspiring!

I also met his close friends, since they started playing tennis together. I know, tennis, it’s so unique! I don’t play it with them, I just sit on the stands and watch my lovely play, and cheer him on when he needs support. I keep telling him that he should play it professionally, but he says that he doesn’t have time for it juggling school, work, and me. I know that last one was a joke, but it still kind of stung, and I had to have a talk with him about it to make sure that work wasn’t impeding him from doing what he needs to. I swear, he works too many hours!

He’s going to come pick me up so we can sleep together at his dorm tonight, before driving over to his parents’ tomorrow. Just the thought of being able to sleep together sends shivers across my body, since we haven’t had the time or schedule to properly sleep with each other like this. I’m getting giddy thinking about it! I’m probably not going to bring you with me, so I’ll write back to you when I get back!

– Carol

[December 31st, 2XXX]

I locked myself in my room just now.

Today was going so great. He came over and we were going to spend New Years together, but he invited his stupid friends without telling me, and they ruined what was supposed to be our night. He was too busy hanging out with them or talking to notice or focus on me, and he couldn’t even cuddle with me on the couch with them around.

I need to have a talk with him. He’s been acting strange with me when we’re around others, and I’m worrying that it might be because there’s something I don’t know. Maybe he’s secretly dating someone else behind my back and I’m the only one who doesn’t know, or maybe he doesn’t actually love me, and he’s just using me for whatever he wants.

I’m going to call him and bring him up here. He needs to get his friends to leave, they’re ruining this perfect night, and I don’t want it to continue.

[January 1st, 2XXX]

He didn’t answer any of my texts or calls.

He didn’t even read them. I can hear him and the rest of them having fun and partying downstairs, and I hate it. He should be doing those things with me, this was supposed to be OUR night, and he’s ignoring me like I don’t matter to him.

All of those memories we made, did they mean nothing to him? Doesn’t he love me? I don’t know what to do, but I have one more idea on how to fix this. If it doesn’t work, then maybe I can kick them out myself.

[January 2nd, 2XXX]

What did I do wrong?

I tried to kick out his friends, and he started to protest, and it just spiraled into an argument. His friends left, but we were arguing about my feelings. He said that his friends said that we were spending way too much time together, and that I was changing him negatively. He said that he’s been losing sleep, failing classes, and showing up late to work because of me, and that I’ve been “controlling”.

His friends don’t know anything about us. They don’t know how deep our connection is, they don’t know how much we need each other. How can they say anything about our relationship when they were stealing him away from me? Everything was perfect until New Years, and they’re the reason why it all went to hell. They’re just trying to take him away from me. I know they never liked me, and I never liked them either, but that doesn’t give them the right to steal my lovely away from me.

They could never understand. All of their relationships will probably fall to pieces long before they get the right to say that our relationship is bad. They must be jealous of us, and how perfect we were.

To make things worse, he left after we had our argument, and I spent all of last night crying and rereading our text messages. I texted him a few times, telling him how much I love him and how I’ll never leave his side, but he never responded. I barely got any sleep, and I’ve been laying in bed for most of the day. I only wrote in here because I was rereading all of my older entries. We were so perfect, those assholes are the ones tearing us apart, I need to get him to realize that. I need him to realize how much I love him.

[January 4th, 2XXX]

They keep making things worse.

His asshole friends keep making everything worse. He texted me today with a big paragraph explaining how I’ve been a “manipulative girlfriend” and how his friends helped him see how bad things were. How could THEY know that? How could THEY SEE anything going on between us? Nothing was wrong until they butted their stupid heads into our relationship.

I tried to explain that to him, but he just said that I was proving his point even more, which made no sense to me at all. How the HELL am I being manipulative? All I’ve shown was love and affection for him. His friends are jealous of us, I know that they are. I think they’ve taken his phone and they’re the ones texting me right now.

Oh but then, then they have the audacity to say that they’re “breaking up with me”, as if I’m going to believe that! He would never do that to me, he knows how strong of a bond we have, and how perfect we are for each other. I told them off, and they stopped texting me. I must’ve scared them away by showing how I knew about their stupid trick.

Now all I need to do is wait for him to come back to his phone so he can tell me the truth, about how his friends are the manipulative ones, trying to tear us away from each other and spend more time with him. All I need to do is wait.

[January 12th, 2XXX]

Maybe they’re keeping his hostage. Maybe they have him locked up in his dorm. I should go and free him. That’s all I have to do, I have to show him my love and devotion by stopping these terrible people from corrupting his mind. I just need to go over to his dorm and free him. I’ll do whatever it takes to get him back, even if it kills me.

Recommend0 Simily SnapsPublished in Contemporary Fiction, Horror

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