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Hi-ho fuckwads! Wanna make money, mu-la, cashola, me too.

Let’s see what we can do.

The vaguest of Tips

1. Provide some sort’ve Information

Show readers that you can deliver value value value.

So a joke. Or just plain give them money. Buy your love from the internet. Make the day better than your own reality. If your home life is shoddy and your innards feel abused. Go online and lie about what you are until something is different or you fall asleep…ZZZZ

Vague tip number two

This means not copying other flaming flamingos and putting a tidy spin onnit. Come on who needs another pointless list compiled by money seeking mediocrity? Hehehehe. Moi?

Keep it short and not so sweet

Everybody is surely tired of drivel, or rap music insanity. Use bigger loquaciously delectable words you’d never use when walking to the shop and their staff and the dog walker you probable avoid. Who wants piss on their legs or growls from the peoples carrying the chains? We really must lie to what we are and may or may not become. How else can we get there folks?

Vague tip, number next one

Do you have a passion or a way of making money easily elsewhere?

Do something else then. Do that. Cash the steady cheque and work to live my feeble friends!

Anything. Writing is a pathetic compulsion, it’s damn near a brain disease. As i’ve said many times before, I’ve written seven novels, thousands of poesy and what has it got me besides head and grandiloquent delusions that the morrow shall be better and I’ll be able to afford the latest headlines snack at McDonalds

Also write really freakin quick

Mistakes are good, shows you really…care and that your talent is a natural occurring freak of nature. Thanks yo Rick mayall!

Pictures, pictures galore

Pictures pictures, pointless portraits of the weather, of cats debating with dogs about the social value of today pop musical society about the way certain cats are portrayed in dashed off Hollywood movies. They really do believe shit-zu’s are getting the short end of the stick. But what do I know eh?

When you have no real content to offer and your ideas are already dry after four posts inside the spacing of a month, resort to the lowest common denominator and do a meme. Just a line and a picture that means nothing to anyone anywhere. Come on, join the charge of LIKE brigade and be one of them.

They must make money, they have no talent, jealousy is a powerful motivator come on, just copy and past pictures from the inter-web and show you can come up with a kinda funny line time and time again.

I know you can do it!

Anybody can…

If one post does good do it again and…

Say you get seven viewers where yesterday you have three then tweak and release the same content again again again again again again again. Same tags, same bollocks nobody really wants. Make sure the title’s roughly the same, wouldn’t want the readers to actually think now would we???

Vague tip number last one

You must publish all the day long

You really must bombard others with your content and comment until they like and feel brow beaten into loving your content or moreover, hopefully our artistic integrity blossoming before their worlds very eyelids. We really want to make them cry!

If everybody doesn’t love you straight away fuck em. Fuck em all to the river Styx, where I shall be ready to shepherd them to what they should have been doing all along.

Did somebody squeal and say minimum wage worker for life. Yes yes.

Let’s face it none of this gonna lead anywhere so create fiendish content. Fuck about with your fellow online neighbours. And if you make another day worthwhile for even a flashy second or three. You’ve done okay, above average!

My, D. David Croot’s, passion is the novels. I’ve failed for nineteen hundred years but soon, oh so soon I shall have my day.

Google knows everything anyhow so fuck around while you still have legs and genitalia that dances like nobody give’s a shit really.

Recommended1 Simily SnapPublished in Humor, Memoir, Personal Narrative, Satire, Self-Help