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Local School Board Unable to Reach Consensus on Pizza Toppings

PIPIE, ID— During last month’s school board meeting, the board of trustees entered the fourth hour of debate about what toppings to order on their pizza. Earlier in the night, the board was in the process of deciding how to proceed with plans to build a desperately needed new addition of classrooms onto the existing high school. The discussion was long, and it seemed as though hardly any progress was made. “They just kept talking in circles.” said Kendra Walton, a member of the community sitting in on the meeting. “So, they decided to order pizza since they recognized that their discussion might turn into an all-nighter.” The discussion did take all night long, but the debate was not over hiring an architect for the project. The board of trustees tabled the ‘building classrooms’ issue and engaged in a wheel-spinning debate on what they should get on their pizza. Trustee Roy Johnson made the argument that putting pineapple on a pizza is “disgusting” and backed it up with an argument about how “cooked fruit” is never as good as fresh fruit, even when it comes to pies and cobblers. School board Treasurer Tom French tried to convince the rest of the board that pepperoni was the standard topping and that Zone 8 trustee Wendy Johnson, a vegetarian, could “just pick off the pepperonis.”

The board later went into executive session to discuss the matter privately without the prying ears of the public. Community member Kendra Walton asked the board as she was being ushered out of the room, “Tony’s closed twenty minutes ago; why are you still talking about this? In response, Chairwoman Danielle O’Rourke said that they had already adopted it into the agenda so they legally had to settle the matter before moving on to any other business.

A special board meeting will be held next week in hopes of coming to a decision so that the regularly scheduled board meeting next month can be used to reach a consensus on hiring an architect to design blueprints for the badly needed additional classrooms.

Recommend0 Simily SnapsPublished in Culture and Current Events, Humor, Satire

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