fbpx
You have 4 free member-only stories remaining for the month. Subscribe now for unlimited access

Random Azz Stories: Aug. 3rd, 2022

Beyonce Has The World “Heated” At Her New Song

I see Beyonce is in the news….AGAINN!!!. Apparently, she had one of those lyrics that a segment of the population finds offensive and wants it removed. I recently saw some of the lyrics and spazz was the only thing they found offensive?

I found the whole dam song offensive with corniness. I thought all the lyrics were whack. They should’ve sent Y’once back in the booth and writ some better crap for her and made her record that song all over again. The song is God-awful.

Here are the lyrics from the song, Heated. “Spazzin’ on that a**, spaz on that a**. Fan me quick, girl, I need my glass. Fan me off, my wrist goes click. Dimples on my hip, stretch marks on my t*ts. Drinkin’ my water, mindin’ my biz. Monday, I’m overrated, Tuesday, on my d*ck. Flip-flop, flippy, flip-floppin’-ass bi*ch.”

Now read all that and tell me if it sounds like a hit to you. Oh it’s a hit alright just as long as you add an s in front of hit and you got how I feel about it.

Dolla, Dolla Bill Y’all

Have you all heard the story about Naomi Judd cutting her daughters out of her will? Dam. That some sad stuff right there. Her estate is reportedly worth 25 million dollars and the Judd sisters don’t get one iota of it. They don’t even get the blender nor the can opener.

It seems that Naomi Judd willed everything to her husband and his side of the family. Now I wonder if her husband (allegedly) applied some trickery in that situation. Judd was a little older and maybe a little out of her mind and manipulated that situation into his favor at the aide of a good lawyer.

You know it’s always the closest ones to you that f*ck you over, along with a stranger that happens to know the law in these kinds of situations.

All The Way LIV

According to Greg Norman in a Fox News interview, golfing great Tiger Woods turned down an offer in the high nine digits range. The figure was reportedly anywhere from 700–800 million dollars.

All I can say to that is: are those LIV people looking for a mediorce blog writer? Have my people call your people and I won’t even charge you that much. I’ll do it for the very low price of 699,000,000 million and 15 cents.

Recommend0 Simily SnapsPublished in Culture and Current Events, Humor, Opinion Piece

Responses