My Dear Diary,
Today was another day where I felt pretty down in the dumps. I couldn’t tell you exactly why, since I just woke up and felt off. Nothing really went wrong today, so I’m assuming that it’s just a mix of normal everyday unease, mixed in with anxiety about the ‘vacation’ I’m going on soon.
‘Vacation’ is what Mom and Dad call it, but I know that it’s just a way for them to try and get me to ‘appreciate’ my title more. I looked into it today and apparently it’s going to be taking me around the world on a boat. I don’t see how they expect that to make me ‘appreciate’ my title more.
I know I’ve talked about them before here, but it’s just infuriating how little they actually listen to me. From the second I was old enough to actually talk to them, they continued to treat me like a naïve kid. Even when I told them I didn’t want to follow in their line of work, and even when I told them that I was sleeping too much because I felt like I was a failure, they always just assumed that I was trying to go against them.
You’re the only thing that’s keeping me from completely snapping. I can put all of my thoughts into words here, and have it all feel like it’s been vented out, rather than keeping it all bottled up until I feel like throwing something across my room. It doesn’t solve every problem, but it helps me feel like things are under control, even if they’re not.
Speaking of which though, I know I told you yesterday about how my paranoia was starting to become a lot worse, and I talked to dad about it earlier today. The straightest answer I got out of him was to just, “Stop being so paranoid then.” Which made me want to punch him in the face. Thankfully I’m being put under their medical insurance soon, so I might be able to get a diagnosis myself. They’ll find out, obviously, but I want to feel like I can actually handle myself, instead of constantly being under their wing.
Now that I’ve thought about it a bit more, this world wide cruise thing doesn’t even sound like a bad idea, since I would finally be away from my parents for a while, and handle myself. I’ve also heard that there’s going to be other kids my age with titles as well, so who knows, maybe there’ll be a doctor that can help me out with my paranoia.
I’m going to have to pack tomorrow, which I’m sure my mom will oversee the entire time, and after that it’ll be a long three days before I’m sent off onto the open water. I just hope I’m not seasick, and I hope the people there are nice. I haven’t had a proper friend since middle school, and even then, once I registered for my title, I never saw them again.
They say that having a title is one of the best things you can work for, but it’s done nothing but hurt me ever since I got it. Losing all of my friends, losing all of my freedoms because of my standoffish parents, and potentially losing a bit of my mental health all along the process. If there’s any positive for getting my talent, this cruise is the best possibility.
I’ll let you know how things go. I might write to you tomorrow, depending on how packing goes, but if things go well, I’ll try and stay silent until I board the cruise, and meet some people. Things have been really down lately, so maybe this cruise will be the start of things getting better for me. There’s only one way to find out.
Until Next I Write,
– Risa Yutamoro
Diary was found in the wreckage of L’Espoir, being held up above the water by the part of the cruise ship labeled as the ‘Upper Floor’, where the corpses of the theorized ten participants from the prison game were being held.
It is unclear why the diary was left here, and or why it was not destroyed by the person behind all of these murders, however we might be able to find our answer, as our sentry’s footage is being watched through to figure out exactly what happened on this cruise, and who did it.
Once we figure out what happened, we’ll file an incident report, and get a warrant to search through the prison, now that we have the corpses of the ten participants.
We’re also going to be interrogating the survivors of the game once we’re done looking through the sentry’s footage. It’s a good thing that we had a tracker on the sentry, since otherwise we wouldn’t have been able to find it, or the survivors with the police.
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