fbpx
You have 4 free member-only stories remaining for the month. Subscribe now for unlimited access

My Arranged Marriage

Arranged marriages begin with the ‘commitment to being together,’ and this promise later blooms into love. Arranged marriages appear like any other marriage: two people in a loving, committed union sealed with a legally binding contract.

Behind the scenes, they frequently begin with introductions by family members or relatives but are finished by the two individuals involved, giving them the ultimate decision to choose their spouse.

A Little Background

I grew up expecting to marry the person my parents had chosen for me: a suitable young man who shared a Hindu family background, cultural heritage, and beliefs. I’m not sure how old I was when I realized this — all I know is that I did, and it didn’t require an explanation. It was something my cousins and our family friends’ girls did. That’s how things were.

Like almost everyone else in my mother and father’s families, my parents had an arranged marriage. But it was never something I felt compelled to do.

Yes, I Tried Dating

My parents allowed me freedom. I tried dating, but it didn’t work out. I had a long list of qualities I wanted in a relationship — negotiables and non-negotiables — that I talked about with my girlfriends over and over. My parents eventually asked if there was someone special I wanted them to meet, and I told them there was no one. As a result, they asked if I wanted them to begin hunting for a man for me. Go ahead, I said.

My Opinion Mattered

I wanted a planned marriage since I am proud of my heritage. I’m a Hindu, and I value arranged marriages in locating a partner from the identical faith and same community. I like my roots, my subculture, and my traditions. With an organized marriage, everyone is on the same page.

I wanted a person I could comprehend. I advised my parents I wanted a tall, polite, properly-spoken man who appreciated me. However, my parents had already determined 95 percent of what I was looking for myself.

The Search

We had a marital section in the newspaper, but I told my parents I was still too pretty and too young for that! Nonetheless, my mother began perusing all of the listings in the section.

Before I met my husband, I met another man and another family. My aunt introduced me to the first person I met, but we didn’t get along. My father knew them the second time, but it didn’t work out. My mum saw an advertisement she loved for the third time. It was simply five or six lines about a North Indian family with a son who worked as a banker in Delhi.

I Meet My To-be Husband, We Click And Marry

I didn’t have butterflies when I first saw him in a coffee shop. But he was gallant and composed, and once we got started, we couldn’t stop chatting. We had only the two of us the second time we met. For seven hours, we talked. I felt comfortable and realized I could be with this man. Even for an arranged marriage, our courtship was swift. We first met in May, then again in June, and finally in July when we became engaged.

We married when I was just shy of 25 years old.

After Marriage

We moved into our apartment near Delhi, which is unusual, but I needed some quiet and wanted to continue working. I don’t believe our adjustment phase differed significantly from my friends in love marriages. You have the honeymoon stage for the first six months where you are pleased, and then you discover that your husband still doesn’t know where to hang his towel after a shower. But I believe I had different expectations than many of my friends. And he turned out to be such a kind guy that the adjustment was minimal.

Love or Arranged — A Marriage Is Made Successful By You

I believe that love marriages are a much higher risk. We’d never met before being introduced. My parents asked a slew of pertinent questions. I’ve seen a lot of wonderful love stories with tragic endings and a lot of arranged weddings that end happily. To have a great relationship, I believe you must be mature enough to know yourself and what you want from a partner.

We both had the happiest four years of our lives with each other. When I tell my husband — “I love you,” I mean it. My marriage, regardless of how organized, is not a deliberate compromise.

CONCLUSION

It is vital to have love and respect for both families. I elected to bet and came out with a winning hand. I am not a supporter of anyone “kind” of marriage. I advocate for happy marriages, regardless of who found your life partner — you or your parents.

Recommended1 Simily SnapPublished in Happy Read, Non-Fiction, Personal Narrative, Romance, True Story

Responses