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Applying the “Logic” of Vaccine Refusal to Other Public Health Issues

I drive drunk on a daily basis, and have for years. I’ve never killed anyone, and haven’t ever been involved in a collision, not even a minor fender bender.

Since this behavior has been without consequence to date, I plan to continue it.

Condemn me if you will, but I see it as a personal call, one that I’m empowered to make. Let others do as they see fit, but I’m going to continue my DUI ways. It’s my right.

Besides, I drive better with a little bit of the bubbly in me. Booze steadies my nerves and smooths out the bumps in the road so to speak. The dangers of driving sober are potentially so much greater than driving impaired that I’m unwilling to risk it.

Also, big “do-gooder” organizations and the government are always harping about the dangers of drunk driving. Why should they be believed? They have their own agendas, mostly designed to restrict my rights. With all their fancy studies, statistics and fake news featuring crying moms of dead children, I’m sure it’s a conspiracy of some kind. My people tell me a whole different story and I choose to believe them.

Challenge me if you dare and I’ll shout you down. How’s this for one example?

Most drunk drivers don’t kill anyone!

Take that and stuff it, you freaking libtard sheep!

This is only step #1. Next up:

Drive 90 through school zones to get your dangerous car away from little children more quickly. Blow your horn while you do it and everything will be fine.

Fire your gun into crowds. Most people won’t get hit.

Never wear a seat belt. You’ll drown if your car flips off the road and into a pond.

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Recommended1 Simily SnapPublished in All Stories, Culture and Current Events, Humor, Satire

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  1. I like this. My friend always argued that if people have to wear helmets on bicycles then they should have to in cars as well. More people die in car accidents from head injuries than people on bikes every year… surely that’s logical :p