our fleeting lines (somehow always meet)
a pen was always smoother than my mouth something runaway and around my mind never quite getting where i need you cant expect me to…
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a pen was always smoother than my mouth something runaway and around my mind never quite getting where i need you cant expect me to…
the butterflies are waiting to be free and i wait to be enlightened thinking if i swallow the moon theyll let me eat the past…
i eat the clouds without end while you swallow my ambition vulnerability a weapon to wield against being drawn in lightning your hands handling it…
A group of blue birds rests at the end of the world. Below a rusted, chain-link fence, they only know of the dirt promising cliches…
A group of blue birds rests at the end of the world. Below a rusted, chain-link fence, they only know of the dirt promising cliches and full bellies. Barbed wire curled on top waves like a friend, who needs their space. The Earth cracks open with a buzzer tearing through the air. Fence creaking with years of use and neglect, the birds scatter. Just another meal interrupted by life strolling by.
Relics loom, shadows almost permanently burned into the dull, aging building. The two correctional officers stand idly back, arms crossed in practiced indifference. Cassie Love walks through the now open gate, splitting their mouths into barely-there grins.
Erratic gray streaks worm their way through long brown hair, scraggly and happy to be windswept. Her flowery blouse wrinkled from ten years in a box still frames her like a painting. The jeans hug just a little too tight, which can be taken care of as soon as she gets the money that got her put in prison in the first place. A clear plastic bag dangles from her fingers, a portal to her past. A purse, some jewelry, a purple hair accessory, and a cell phone.
The sun shines like she remembers, eyes squinting with the breath of clean air.
“Ne reviens pas!”
Don’t come back, Cassie translates in her head. She barely catches the guards smirking out of the corner of her eye. They do the same old dance of walking back into the prison, their path etched into the ground. Shoulders bumping in a confused camaraderie.
The buzzer doesn’t make her flinch. Just a kiss on the cheek for goodbye with the fence rolling to a close once again. The large white sign tethered to it is hard to miss. Avertissement! Cette propriété est protégée par surveillance vidéo.
Her eyes dart to the door, where the guards entered seconds before. There’s a sort of longing digging at the corners of her mouth. Strange. She feels as if she’s going to miss this place.
“Stockholm Syndrome.” The words are rueful and slither through her teeth.
Her stupor shatters with the piercing blow of a car horn. A custom, mint-colored Mercedes dazzles in the parking lot. Grimacing, Cassie crosses the slab of concrete separating the prison from the parking lot by a few hundred feet. Surprise shouldn’t be bouncing around in her mind. The driver did always have an ostentatious style.
The window rolls down and it’s like there’s ocean foam bubbling underneath Cassie’s feet. Gina Luca, her hair a waterfall in the dark of night. Ease slicks itself all over Cassie, a tightness loosening from her. Ten years is a long time, but she would recognize her in another world. At the center of the Earth. By the pursing of her lips and the sound of her laugh. The movement of her hands. It all comes back, already memorizing the new lines, smiles from easier days carved by a brooding artist with a penchant for deadpan jokes. There’s a hint of Botox, no lines of concern between her eyebrows, no surprise seen on her forehead.
Gina gasps. The sun turns and the stars cry and the moon shatters.
And the moment leaves with empty words failing on Cassie’s lips. It morphs into a squeal from Gina. “Cass, get your ass in here.”
With an eyeroll made for a laugh track and smile made for feigning, Cassie bounds to the car. Wild thoughts of missing prison gone and bitten off words retreating to the clouds.
***
Gina drives, her tires stamping elation into the road. A trail screaming not to end. Cassie’s favorite song sharpening on her teeth, she throws the lyrics at her. Cassie catches them, head thrown back, tears making everything turn watercolor. Laughter gets a new meaning, twisting up out the windows and into the air: opia.
The chorus builds and a mountain forms. It becomes too much, eyes meeting with the barest sense of restlessness and doubt. Cassie turns away, overwhelmed, and ardent with the change. She lets the tears go; freedom still fresh enough to know what it means. Out the window, trees pass the car, and she wonders if she can remember what they looked like on her way there. Did the brown, yellow, red, and fading green jar her as they do now? In anticipation of what was to come: the gray of life standing still, and the dark of eyes closed.
Cassie startles as a finger caresses the skin by her eye. An exploration of things changed in absence. Touch feels novel and disruptive, her eyes find Gina once again. Always, even in the sort of pain that breaks.
Gina, with the grace to look sheepish. “Sorry. It’s just-uh-different than it used to be.”
Cassie smiles. It’s bit impish. “What? You mean the crow’s feet?” Then, a bit reluctantly, lovingly vindictive. “We didn’t all have access to Botox…and it wouldn’t be such a shock if you came to visit me.”
The smile does nothing to hinder the blow. Cassie takes note of the panic and the color seemingly leaking out of her pores. Consider a nerve hit. “Cass…I was already being questioned.” It’s diminutive, the excuse heavy on her tongue, already digging a deeper hole. “I called when I could.”
Cassie pays her back, thumb kissing the lines by her mouth. There is no fight in her right now. She re-learns how to be soothing, trying to remember the last time she did this. Right before the heist. “I was only joking.” It feels like a half-truth, but Gina’s lips brushing her thumb takes her back to wine glasses and the knowledge that this could be something.
And, Gina, the artist that she is, puts gloss over everything. Barely concealed relief flying from her. “Well, we can get you an appointment later. For the crow’s feet. But first things first, I have a hairstylist on hand at my humble abode that can whip your hair back into shape.”
Cassie barks out a laugh that puts Gina on the edge of spiraling. “What?”
“What if I want to keep them…the crows’ feet…” Cassie gestures to the lines around Gina’s mouth. “…like you.”
One of Gina’s hands ghosts over her mouth. She gets a bit brighter.
***
Armies of tacky tourists line the streets of Rue de Rivoli. They all wear bright colors, designating the family they belong to. Bright oranges and yellows that don’t fit. Battalions going up against each other, armed with clear rectangular devices as thin as a piece of paper, but unbreakable (Gina informs her they are the latest version of the iPhone) out to capture the Eiffel Tower vaguely in the distance and heavy bags full of souvenirs from the Laudurée.
Thankfully the beauty refuses to be diminished. The colonnade frame, grand and breathing history, makes the dream of the tourist trap come true. The allure is still there, and Cassie lets it wash over her, as they slowly roll past Angelina, the first patisserie she and Gina ate at while in Paris. Her eyes close to the memories.
“I knew you’d want to come down this road.”
“I haven’t been to Paris since we toured the Louvre.”
“Still can’t believe we pulled that off.”
Cassie shrugs, like it’s no big deal, even though it totally is. Her eyes open and are playful on Gina’s. “Y’know anything is possible with time travel. Just manipulate the fabric of time to dip out of existence every time a guard comes around the corner.”
“Cut the shit. I know how cocky you are about being able to use that machine.” There’s a giggle there that reminds Cassie of before. It drowns her.
Cassie looks back out the window, bitten lip and beautiful architecture. “You think you know me so well.”
Gina doesn’t catch or ignores the tone, making hers suggestive. “I do.”
“Speaking of the Louvre, we can finally access my part of the money. Been waiting thirty years for it.”
Cassie still looks out the window. She misses Gina’s world tearing in two. She misses the most honest look from her this far. She misses the guilt that’s been obvious this whole time.
***
The black leather chair swallows Cassie. While typical of any salon, the squeaks every time she moves reminds her of a particularly upset mouse. Consider mood ruined.
Cassie’s face increasingly jumps up, chair jerking up higher and higher by the frightenedly silent hairstylist. Slicked back, long hair and winged eyeliner so sharp it could cut glass, she might be more intimidating than the prison guards. Oh god, the mirror is hi-def. Cassie scowls, the permanently streaked mirror in her cell much kinder.
Gina rests on the edge of the tub, a bit rigid if someone looked a little to closely. Just to the right of the salon chair and vanity set-up, she types like each key is poking her with something sharp on her fingers. It’s just a bigger version of the clear phones the tourists clutched to. Only difference is it project a keyboard.
“The mirror can play you a movie if you’re bored.” Her voice shakes a little. Again, barely noticeable. “Anything you want. Even those vintage Marvel movies you’re obsessed with.” She forces a hint of teasing in her tone.
Cassie attempts to move her head, but the hairstylist yanks her back into place. Okay, definitely more intimidating than the prison guards. Finding her in the mirror, Cassie tries her best to reassure her.
“I’m fine.” Her eyes rake over Gina. She notices the undercover tenseness. “Are you, though? Fine, that is.”
Gina glances up at Cassie. Feeling caught out, she desperately searches for something to cloud whatever she’s so obviously hiding. A roar of unease that both Gina and Cassie can’t ignore. The hairstylist paints Cassie’s limp hair a dark red-ish color. There it is. Gina cocks her head, schools her features in a way that demonstrates what her job might have been before Cassie’s extended stay. Mirth laces her voice, perfectly placed if a person doesn’t know where to look. For someone that hasn’t spent years trying to remember the cadences. Didn’t try to inject it in her marrow, a botched cure for loneliness.
“Huh. I don’t remember you having red hair.”
“I thought I’d try something a little different.” Maybe Gina imagined the ache there.
She bulldozes on. “Why?”
“This–I can also control this. I couldn’t control what went on in there.”
Worry strikes Gina, but she’s a coward. Her eyes dart from Cassie. “What happened in there?”
“Prison stuff.” She lets out a nervous titter, her own hands finding each other in comfort, wringing together. A nervous habit, Gina sees that didn’t break in prison. “You’re the one that always watched those prison shows. Not me.”
Gina can’t not look at her. The vulnerability reigns over selfishness. She can’t hurt her more than she already has and will, so she drags her eyes to Cassie’s. A smile that would make the oceans weep.
“It was a lot. Saw a lot. Couldn’t do anything about it because—I can’t talk about this.”
Gina’s throat empties. It’s barren of pretty words and comfort. She looks back at her computer. “What’s your username?
There’s disbelief radiating from Cassie. “What?”
“For your bank account.” Gina charges on.
“dlstone.”
Gina dresses herself up in amusement. “Oh, that’s right Ms. Dona Louise Stone.”
This feels like a game. Cassie lets her hang on to mischief. “The best fake name ever.”
“Password?”
“071419.”
Cassie trains her gaze on Gina through the mirror. She sees the exact moment her face resigns. Her stomach might as well open up and spill her lunch all over the pretty floors. “What?”
The sharpness and awareness make Gina dumb. There’s not enough time for something clever. For something flirty. “Uh, there is no money in your account.”
The confirmation only makes Cassie stiffen, alarm bells racing through her mind. “What do you mean there is no money in my account?”
She can usually read her like a book she wrote herself, but Gina’s face doesn’t reveal clue. Cassie knows how to work her. She jumps out of the chair, ignoring the silent hairstylist waving her arms in protest. Her shaky hands snatch the laptop from Gina in the perfect amount of distress. Voice imbued with disbelief and eyes a touch wide for naivety’s sake. “This can’t be right.”
Cassie’s breathing climbs, slamming the laptop hard. Jury’s out on if she was trying to break it, but she begins to pace. Laying it on thick, its like flames trail behind her, leaving scorched Earth in her wake. “We have to talk to the others. See if something got screwed up because this cannot be happening. I was not locked up that long to be this fucked over.”
Gina goes to her, instinct winning out over secrets. Pulling her in for a hug, she rubs her back. Cassie’s breathing returns to normal. “We need to talk to the others.”
Gina pulls back, and it doesn’t feel right. “Cass, they left as soon as we sold the painting. Before you got arrested.”
Cassie nods. “Then we have to talk to Adrien.”
“I don’t know. Don’t you just want to relax?”
Hook, line, and sinker. There’s Cassie’s excuse to go in. “How can I relax when my portion of over 100 million dollars is gone?” It hurts to think, let alone say. “Did you know about this? Is this why you haven’t visited me?”
“See, I knew you were still mad about that. You have something to say. Say it.”
“You not visiting me…not even once, it hurt.” It drops off. The other things she wants to say retreating for another time.
Love flints on Gina’s words. “You know—”
Cassie looks her dead in the eye. “Yes, I know. Doesn’t change the fact that you never came. It doesn’t matter the excuses.”
Gina backs away from Cassie. Distance had protected her all these years. “Fine. Chez Denise for lunch tomorrow.”
“You cannot bribe me with food from a bistro. Especially since its expensive and last time I checked I literally have no—”
Gina interrupts. “No, no. Adrien goes there for lunch every day.”
Cassie gives her a knowing look. The Gina she knows destroying her suspicions and hurt for a beat. “You little spy.”
“I had to keep on an eye on him to make sure he didn’t rat. He was the only contingency.” There’s a pleading look in her eyes, like she’s asking forgiveness for something unwritten.
It’s terrible. And Cassie’s mind splinters. Gina smiles for a little refuge. “But first we have to do something that you want do.”
“No.”
“Yes, you deserve something. You just got out of prison. What do you want to do most?”
***
The Tuileries Garden remains every bit as beautiful as when Monet put brush to canvas. Blues, oranges, yellows, purples, and reds. It’s like they’re oil now, the colors blending. Almost terrifying to Gina, who can’t focus on one color. Cassie’s slightly ahead, fingering a daisy petal. Rubbing her thumb over a rose. Breathing in the scent of a tulip. She’s scared too, trying to memorize everything, hoping this is not an illusion.
Gina catches up to where Cassie stopped. A bed of tulips that are red and purple. They breathe and they’re beautiful and Gina’s mind breaks open, sending a flood of tears for this moment to travel down and last as long as it flows.
“It’s nice to see this hasn’t changed in the ten years I’ve been gone.” Cassie looks to Gina, her mood finally reaching her. “What?”
There’s a wildness in Gina. Frantic fingers ceaseless on red cheeks not used to the sun. A yearning that held steady with just a gentle kiss on her lips. Pulling a breath apart, eyes of a long overdue rendezvous. Lips become bruising, like the world might swallow them whole right there.
***
Chez Denise welcomes Cassie and Gina with a mix of smells to salivate uncontrollably for, from frites to roasted marrowbones. Eyes scanning the tables, all identical with red and white tablecloths on them, there’s closeness to Cassie and Gina that was missing before. But now that its there, it impossible to imagine them without it.
People pack themselves into the red booths and deep, brown wooden chairs, their chatter creating a cacophony of noise that would be slightly distressing for a lunch in the middle of the workday. Cassie’s eyes wander to the vintage pictures, sketches, and paintings covering every inch of the brown wall. She loses herself until Gina grabs her shoulder. “There over there!”
Gina’s hand leads to Adrien. The same nerdy scientist, only his slightly greying hair showing his age, while his face is a smooth as it was that fateful day. Cassie swallows jealousy that’s tempered by how easily manipulated he was, letting a bunch of money-hungry criminals use France’s most coveted invention. Baby face for a baby amount of will-power. She drags Gina to the table.
Adrien, too busy inhaling his food to notice the women towering over him, remains oblivious until two chairs drag across the floor. Cassie and Gina sit, perfect mirrors of each other. Adrien double-takes, his fork clattering to the table in the process. Paranoia bleeding form him, he whips his head to look all around the restaurant. A quiet, taut tone, laced with slight anger. “What are you doing here?”
A maniacal smile inches up on Cassie’s face. A hint of the woman ten years before. “Didn’t you hear? I’m a free woman now.”
Gina pretends to be interested in her nails, apparently not wanting anything to do with this shakedown. A shadow of fear passes over Cassie’s face and a gorge opens between them. She will deal with that later.
“We promised to part ways. Ring a bell?”
There’s a hollow laugh that crawls up Cassie’s throat. “Promises die when an end of a deal isn’t held up.”
Guilty realization drips from Adrien, unstoppable and spreading to Gina. His eyes lose hers and find Gina’s. Why won’t anyone look her in the eyes? Words fall short.
“But you already knew that didn’t you?” Cassie sacrifices a quick side-eye to Gina, who looks like she will be sick.
Adrien finds a shred of gall, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose, he meets Cassie’s eyes. “Only because the others asked me to.”
Cassie turns her chair to face Gina, causing a scene be damned. Gina’s eyes close, her lip trembling. “Asked you to do what?”
“To help them drain your bank account of your share of the money.”
Cassie leans close to Gina’s ear. It’s obvious who this is for. “And did you?” It feels violent and cold, frozen vines of ivy wrapping around Gina’s face.
Adrien looks offended. He shakes his head profusely. “I didn’t believe it was right. After everything.”
Cassie believes him. Lips still at the shell of Gina’s ear, too intimate for this place. “And you?”
Gina turns, lips a breaths away. She’s silent, then “Cass—”
“No, did you or did you not know?”
Gina just nods, like the veins in her neck constrict. Cassie’s voice shatters and rolls. “And you didn’t tell me?”
“I didn’t help them.”
“But you knew and didn’t tell me. You fucking mentioned my crow’s feet.”
“Babe-“
“Don’t. You don’t get to do that. You know it broke my heart when you didn’t come to visit me. I get that it would have been a risk, but I risked ten years of my life for you, and you couldn’t even come visit me once. Eventually, I got over it. Tried to rationalize it. We are criminals, after all. Sometimes self-interest overpowers even love, and I knew who you were when we got together. But now I know the real reason. Shame.” Fury hardens her voice, only hushed for the sake of secrecy.
“Cassie.” The protest is weak, already did behind her teeth.
“Did you even love me?” The hardness is gone, bleakness left in the wake. The kiss by the flowers somehow older than her now. Before Gina can answer, Cassie leaves the table and the bistro and Gina.
***
A colorful, fluffy rug threatens to consume Cassie, who lays there, newly red hair a spider-web halo. It covers the entire floor of an otherwise empty room. Cassie stares at the smooth, white ceiling, wishing it were popcorn, so she could count the little dots. A distraction.
She continues staring, even when she hears the distinct clicking of high heels. She still stares when they become muffled by the rug. Eventually, she can see the satiny, peach-colored heels Gina chose to wear that day out of the corner of her eye. One of many pairs that fill the shelves and shelves of her numerous closets.
Gina lays down next to Cassie, breath keenly even. She pets the rug, a reminder that she’s here.
Gina lays down next to Cassie, trying to keep her breathing even. “Of course, you find the one room I’m re-decorating.” Her hopeful look and practiced smile shatters the moment she moves to see Cassie, still looking at the ceiling.
“I’m surprised you’re even here.”
Cassie twitches, barely resisting the urge to drink in Gina’s features. Familiar and full of memories that would make her forget why she’s angry. “I have nowhere else to go.
Silence slices the room in half. Terror foams at Gina’s mouth. “You’re right. I was ashamed. I didn’t do enough to stop them.” This is important. Her voice clears and rings terribly in the room. “I was so terrified of going to prison like you, I was willing to sacrifice our relationship.”
Gina knows she deserves this coldness. “That’s why I got Adrien to help us get to the fabric of time again.”
Cassie’s body rolls over to face Gina, disbelief running her brain. “Adrien would not risk his job again. Did you see his face when he saw us in Chez?”
“He did when I threatened to go to the authorities.”
Cassie doesn’t believe it. Gina wouldn’t either. “You would have to explain how you know though?”
Gina shrugs awkwardly. “It doesn’t matter.”
“You would probably go to jail.”
“You did it for me.” The words tether Cassie to Gina, a soft truth just waiting for fruition.
***
Thick, rope like strings stretch from the ground to the ceiling, pulled taut. Vibrating like a skilled harpist building momentum to teeter on the edge of a crescendo. The low hum expected at the center of a black hole, eerie and oppressive enough to cling, a second skin. More vibrating strings stretch horizontally, just as tight, neither end visible, the room seemingly endless. All colors, some not known to man blend together in vibration, indistinct and blurry, a Monet masterpiece in the flesh.
Power barely contained, it rings throughout the room, causing Cassie to pause. Like she did ten years ago. Younger, but bought still by an alien, godly beauty. Gina pops her head around the corner of one of the sections of strings. “Are you sure we are on the right floor?”
“Third floor is for the mid-2000’s.” Gina walks over to her, as Cassie scans the strings. She points, and Gina’s gaze follows.
“That is February 21st at 12:00 am.”
“Are you sure?”
“Completely.”
“Then, let’s go get your money.”
Cassie steps forward to that section of strings. She takes two and splits time a part.” Gina immediately joins Cassie closer to the strings, and her universe cracks open. A younger her, dark, wavy hair down to her butt, free of dye, eyes lit with determination. Next to her younger self, is the girl she fell in love with, younger, shoulder-length platinum, blonde hair, eyes crinkled in laughter, hinting at the crow’s feet she would have in the future.
“You done drooling?”
Cassie’s smirking mouth pushes her forward. Walking backwards, hoping to temper the blush, she crosses time’s threshold, these strings further stitching their relationship. “C’mon.” Made pointed with lips curled in a challenge. Cassie remains helpless to follow. Steadfast and always.
There’s a reverberating hiss as the world snaps back together in a bid to erase the tampering. The harpist continues to play, music for the people ahead and looking back.
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