Life Cycle of the Southern USA Snow Man
There is a 63% Chance of “Measurable Winter Precipitation.” The Possibility of Snow fertility rite begins with the removal of milk, bread, and toilet paper…
Author: Scott Younkin
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Self-Checkout is an Unexpected Item that Must Be Bagged
One Twitter user suggested that a good idea for a haunted house would just be a series of fake ghosts saying over and over, “Unexpected…
Just Before Dawn
Just before dawn, the drones take flight. Dressed by the doting Brood Mother in short pants too large for their vestigial legs and sport coats…
A Tale of Forest Beer and a Smashed Torino
Act One: Cupid’s Nerf Arrows I was the star of the high school Senior Class Play in 1969 because the drama coach told me I was…
My Muse is a Sun-Dappled Bear Boy
Darryl “Whoa, Diego turned me on to some Choco Loco and after smoking that bath salt garbage the Food Fowl lot looks all bright like…
To Swim Just Inflate Your Pants
Hold the waistband of the pants open just below the surface. Cup your hand andstrike the water, following through so that air caught by your hand…
Rambo to the Rescue Thanks to the Deadly Doorbell
Everything in the home is now Wi-Fi enabled. How about the Wi-Fi-connected Music streaming light bulb? Wifi-enabled music streaming bulbs pack all sorts of visual…
As a Masked Influencer, I Say: Purchase my ebooks or Face My Wrath
The road to being a social media influencer has been long and burdensome. I have dived into 12 different side hustles and despite my best…
He Was Caught in a Drive-By Roofing: In Which Roofers Learn the Secret Sauce
Some shady roofers study weather reports closely and target neighborhoods that have recently experienced stormy weather, especially hail. They tell homeowners that their roofs were…
A Christmas Letter for Everyone from Lottie
Hello Everyone from the Duntwiches in Farmingdale. We are finally settling into our bunker at the Retirement Center. Life underground is a bitch but you…