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Father-Daughter Scene

  • Father-Daughter Scene

    Posted by Charles Neal on March 2, 2022 at 4:20 pm

    Does this scene make sense?

    (Father sending Daughter off to school, misses when she was little, notices she’s stressed and trying too hard to be adult, decides to calm her down with an old childhood ritual. Also, both are being affected by the absent mother. Does all that come through?)

    Setting: VIVIAN ST. GERMAINE running through a bedroom. Sort, orange light filters into the room. The floor is scattered with dolls, toys, clothes and books. There is a half-opened book bag atop tangled, pink booksheets. VIVIAN is in a pink tutu, long pink ribbons streaming down her hair. She is picking up clothes, examining some, tossing some back on the floor or throwing others in the bag. Her dad, JEROME, comes in, blinks.

    JEROME

    Vivian? While I know I’ve been telling you to clean your room, it’s pretty early for a Saturday.

    VIVIAN stops while holding up a pair of rhine-stone covered jeans, slowly blushing.

    VIVIAN

    It’s Saturday?

    JEROME nods, sitting on a chair at the desk.

    JEROME

    Is everything alright?

    VIVIAN

    Puts down the jeans. Tugs her ribbon.

    I’ve been (Beat) so nervous about starting at the ballet academy that I forgot what day it was.

    JEROME opens his arms. VIVIAN, hesitantly, goes and hugs him. JEROME holds her.

    JEROME

    You’ve been looking forward to it…but are you sure you’re up to it? You’ve never been away from me and mom and your brother and sister so long.

    VIVIAN hops away from him, pouting, offended, putting her hands on her hips.

    VIVIAN

    I am! I totally am!

    JEROME

    Smiles fondly.

    When you got nervous before performances, I used to rock you in my lap. Seemed to settle you down.

    VIVIAN

    Looks away. Sighs.

    I’m too old for that.

    JEROME

    Smirking, he picks her up, putting her in his lap.

    Oh really?

    VIVIAN squirms a bit, then gives up, holding onto his neck as he rocks her.

    VIVIAN

    Laying her head on his chest.

    Maybe I’m not too old for this.

    JEROME

    Strokes her hair.

    I get it, you know. You’re fourteen now, but me and your mom will still be here for you. If (Beat) anything is bothering you.

    VIVIAN

    When is Mom coming back?

    JEROME picks her up and sets her down. VIVIAN pouts.

    JEROME

    Lays a hand on her shoulder.

    We’re (Beat) we’re working things out. You don’t need to worry about it.

    VIVIAN sighs.

    Charles Neal replied 2 months, 2 weeks ago 2 Members · 4 Replies
  • 4 Replies
  • Blaine Coleman

    Member
    March 27, 2022 at 6:30 pm

    It does come through, but the impression is that Vivian is far younger than 14. Why would the father pick up his 14-year-old daughter and sit her on his lap?

    That makes it sound a bit incestuous.

    • Charles Neal

      Member
      March 28, 2022 at 10:39 am

      It’s a running joke that Vivian behaves like and gets treated like a kid. Growing out of that is part of her story.

  • Blaine Coleman

    Member
    March 29, 2022 at 5:24 pm

    I understand, now. And I should not have implied “incestuous” behavior. My mistake…

    • Charles Neal

      Member
      April 8, 2022 at 2:10 pm

      It’s alright. 🙂 I guess culture plays a role as I come from a very touchy-feely family. Different perspectives.