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Daughter of Sun and Fog 

I sit by the water — light dances across the crystal blue surface.

I can “see” the sun — the heat “touches” my skin, but I am shrouded in fog.

A dingy gray shield— stalwart — negotiates a co-existence with the visceral experience of the actual world’s warmth.

My life bears this tension — the push and pull of what is versus what I experience.

Like a child at the center of a bitter custody battle, I find myself suspended between objective reality and the version of the world my anxiety and depression want me to see.

Somewhere between sunlight and fog — good enough and needing more — surrender and craving — peace and pain — there I am, touching both worlds.

If I let go of one world, the other swallows me up.

Stepping into the sunlight, I bask in its glow until I notice the fog swirling at my feet, intermixing with the sunlit streams.

Descending, the fog lulls me to sleep. Only a resilient beam, crashing through the hazy blanket, awakens me.

I’ve tried to escape them both: rejection, denial, and ill-attempts to hide.

In time — with acceptance, I recognize I am “their” descendent — the daughter of sun and fog.

An unlikely chemistry of contradictory substances reveals my essence — an equation of truth.

I can reject neither — for they are my source. I belong to both, and they to me — an inheritance of contrast.

And so life unfolds in the between — creation occurs in the dance of opposites.

Creatives — children of them all.

Image Credit: Karen Zhao on Unsplash 

I originally published this piece on Medium

©Heather Martin, 2022 

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Responses

  1. Wow, Heather! I love this! How apt and true this is – “if I let go of one world, the other swallows me up”, “creation occurs in the dance of opposites” – beautiful.

  2. Every true artist has their tools which which to create. Sculptors have stone and marble, painters have oils and canvas, and writers have pen and words……way to wield your tools, Heather.