Growing Pains
I was 16 when I first found out. Wait, maybe 17. No, I was definitely 15. I could have been 16. Well, I know it…
Author: Ruth Holmes
Sort by category
Sort by category
I was 16 when I first found out. Wait, maybe 17. No, I was definitely 15. I could have been 16. Well, I know it…
I was 16 when I first found out. Wait, maybe 17. No, I was definitely 15. I could have been 16. Well, I know it was in that range. It was October. I know that with absolute certainty. My birthday is the 5th of October. And it happened precisely on the 8th. Three days after my 15th birthday. Ahh, there it is. I was most definitely, without a doubt, 15. But, only had I been 15 for three days.
I was with my best friend, Erin. We had been best friends for only two summers. Two summers of waking up every day with a best friend. Talking about boys, and the girls at school. At least the ones we hated anyway.
I had parents. But I didn’t know them. I guess any child raised in foster care could say the same. Erin lived in the same home as me. Our foster parents were good. They really were. I had lived with them for the past six years. They were my third set of foster parents. The other two sets had been pretty damn lousy. But, when I was 9 I moved in with James, and Molly, and their two kids, Jackson, and Elizabeth. I was their only foster child. Jackson was older when I moved in. He was already 17. And Elizabeth was just a year behind at 16. They were always really nice to me. Truly they were. I finally felt a sense of belonging.
James and Molly tried to adopt me, but there were too many factors stopping them. So, I stayed Flora Anderson. I never got the honor of taking their family name. Jones. I know, I know. It’s very common. But, I didn’t care. It was the family name of my family. It could have been Smith or Jones, or something horrid like Snodgrass, or Butt. I still wanted it. I wanted to have the name of my family.
I was 13 when James and Molly, now known as mom and dad to me, allowed for Erin to come. She was also 13. They had a long talk with me about having a new child stay with us. If ever at any point I was uncomfortable, I had the right, as their daughter (last name or not) to tell them, and they’d have her placed elsewhere.
My anxiety rose, and eventually climaxed when Erin finally showed up. She was scared shitless. Mom, really hated when I would say that, but she would also look at dad, when she thought I wasn’t looking, and would grin. I ran into my bathroom on the second story and threw up all of my lunch. Mom had made her room up right next to my room. Jackson’s old room. When he came to visit, rarely, he never stayed the night with us, but rather his new wife’s family.
It turned out both of us could have saved ourselves some misery. We turned out to be thick as thieves. Erin, however, was able to be officially adopted. And she became Erin Jones. I was happy for her, I really was. But, there was some hot jealousy too. Mom and dad assured me, even showered me with gifts, that they didn’t think of me as anything less than their daughter. And if they could take Anderson away and replace it with Jones, they surely would, in. A. Heartbeat. But, they couldn’t.
Jealousy aside, Erin was still my closest confidant. We were a little old for playing dolls when she came to our house, but we were “developmentally behind”, or so said Jan, the therapist. We would play dolls and house for hours and hours. We pretend to be married. I’d be the wife and she the husband. And we would have baby dolls all over the room. Until one of us would get angry with the other. Then we would both become single mothers to a litter of children. All under age, guessing by the smallness of their plastic bodies, 4 months of age. Maybe we should have pretended to have an orphanage instead.
I would see Jan three times a week. She was actually a really nice lady, but I HATED her. She would dig and dig, and question and question me until I’d start crying. I’d end up having a panic attack and when that was over I’d pick my nail beds until they bled. After mom had a talk with Jan, she finally agreed to slow the process down. It still sucked like hell. She’d talk about my birth parents. I hated talking about my birth parents. I couldn’t remember much, but what I remembered, I certainly didn’t want to remember. When Erin came she had to go four times a week. She wouldn’t talk to me for hours after, and then she’d sneak in my room at night and cry and cry, and I’d just hold her. I’d start crying too. It would get pretty loud, and then mom would come upstairs and find us in that mess and she’d scoot me over and she’d cry and cry too. Molly really was the best.
Once Erin and I started high school we really had a rough go at first. For one thing we looked nothing alike, but claimed to be sisters. I’m a pale skinned blonde, and she’s a tanned skinned brunette. I wouldn’t exactly call either one of us stunners, but we didn’t turn heads away either.
We wanted to try drinking, but no one ever invited us to any parties, and mom and dad didn’t believe in alcohol. Until we met Michelle. She was a total bitch. Mean as hell. Slick as a whip, sly as a fox, sneaky as a snake, and man oh man, was she adored by the boys. Erin and I wanted to be just like her. Michelle asked us to a party.
We didn’t exactly have to sneak out to get to the party Michelle had asked us to. It was at a frat boys house. A frat boy. A boy from college. Are you even listening? Mom wouldn’t have said yes to where we were going so we just told her we were going to Michelle’s house. We really went to the frat boy’s frat house. I’m sure you can read between the lines, but just in case I thought I’d be nice and spell it out for you.
I don’t even know what the frat boys name was to be completely honest with you, but he was in college. And he was cute. And he smelled like axe. He talked to Michelle. Well, he leaned over her, starred right down her shirt, got two inches from her lips and said stuff we sure couldn’t hear. He had a red solo cup in his big football playing hand. Funny, he never actually got off the bench, but to me it was everything. The talking progressed and next thing we knew Michelle and FB (frat boy) were making out. Erin and I just watched. He left and came back with a solo cup for Michelle. Then he spotted Erin and I.
Michelle reluctantly introduced us to FB. The house was insanely loud with music, dancing, and screaming to talk over the music. There were people all over the room making out. It was quite the scene. He seemed really interested in Erin. At first. He wasn’t standing real straight, and he also wasn’t walking straight. He did the same thing to Erin. He was hovering over, two inches away, looking down her shirt. But then he abruptly looked up and saw me. He came right over to me and put his lips on mine. I had never been kissed by a peer. And certainly not an FB. It tasted like beer. It was awkward as hell and so wet and messy. I had my eyes wide open. A newbie. And I could see Michelle out of the corner of my eye. She was glaring. I mean, really and truly glaring.
FB moved us to the couch. People were doing things all over that room that would make a Sunday school teacher blush. Next thing I knew he was starting to do some of those things to me. I was really tense. It was a lot to grasp. He could tell I was tense. He took my hand and led me upstairs.
Erin and I had discussed if anyone wanted to have sex with us at the party what would we do. We both answered yes! And enthusiastically to say the least. We were ready. Because we all know 14 year olds are always ready.
Well, I’ll let you guess what happened in that room that night. And then on October 8th is when I found out I was pregnant.
End part 1.
| Cookie | Duration | Description |
|---|---|---|
| cookielawinfo-checbox-analytics | 11 months | This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". |
| cookielawinfo-checbox-functional | 11 months | The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". |
| cookielawinfo-checbox-others | 11 months | This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. |
| cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary | 11 months | This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". |
| cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance | 11 months | This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". |
| viewed_cookie_policy | 11 months | The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data. |
There was a problem reporting this post.
Please confirm you want to block this member.
You will no longer be able to:
Please allow a few minutes for this process to complete.