“If you’re happy, then it’s ok,” he said. “I’m content, yes. Happiness is a choice anyway.” I replied. He turned to look at me. Ran…
They say pain fades away. But it never really does. It lingers. In his blue eyes when he looks at me from a distance.
They say memories dull down. But they never really do. They come alive. Every time he smiles at an inside joke in a room full of people.
They say love hurts and heals. But in our journey from one life to another, it returns. Giving us hope. Gently piecing together everything that is broken. And carelessly letting it break again.
I can’t pretend that it doesn’t hurt. I can’t pretend that I don’t want things to go back to the way they used to be.
But there’s nothing to hold on to. A mirage of beautiful times spent at the beach sipping wine in the misty orange night. A cloud of happiness under the Tiger’s Nest walking through forests of delicate mushrooms. A flurry of hot passion under the desert sun and scorching sparks between us. It’s a dream I once happily lived.
I ask for clarity and guidance. For that small voice inside to tell me what I can hold on to and how I can let go. Does letting go mean finding the spark again in someone else’s eyes? Finding the warmth in someone else’s embrace? And finding the solace when someone else calls my name?
Or will it be the emptiness in my heart when he smiles? The lump in my throat when he brushes against my skin. And the hollow hope in his words when he says, “come with me”.
They say pain fades away. But it never really does.
They say memories dull down. But they never really do.
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